Tomorrow is my last day at my current job as a Multimedia Community Engagement Coordinator for my city’s public transit agency. 🚌
I’ve worked there for two years, in two roles, while living in three homes, acquiring a new ADHD diagnosis, during a global pandemic. My time there has been full of growth, learning, creativity, passion, and so much challenge. My experience was two-fold: working alongside some of the wisest and most wonderful humans I’ll ever meet while having a deep professional struggle internally.
My self-esteem suffered over the last two years as I fought myself to be successful in showing up to parts of my job that just didn’t fit. Hard as I tried, I simply couldn’t summon the community engagement skills I swore I had two years ago. I felt like a failure a lot at this job (by my standards - not anyone else’s!).
Simultaneously, I saw unique opportunities to innovate and use my skills to better the agency and our community. My digital engagement knowledge was a major asset, but sometimes felt more like a setback as I continuously advocated to reevaluate my job description so I had enough bandwidth to be effective.
As an Enneagram 3, the volume on my emotional turmoil was turned up to 11. But like, all the time.
Though it sounds cliché, this job taught me things I couldn’t have expected:
Government moves both faster and slower than you think it does.
Getting the green light on something you care about is sometimes just about showing up and asking for it.
One of the ways my ADHD manifests is in “directional dyslexia” which makes it real tough to lead a program teaching people how to map out transit trips.
Corporate offices are silly and everybody is an endearing weirdo. Yeah, even that guy!
I don’t adapt well to situations where I can’t be authentic and I’m pretty bad at faking it. If I realize I spend more time biting my tongue than having honest conversations, I’m likely to shut down completely.
Being outspoken in the workplace can lead to friction but it’s in that tension that hard conversations are had and creative solutions are formed.
The best innovations address issues for customers and staff equally. Build something that gives folks on both sides some of their time back and better experiences.
Body language and eye contact are must-haves for brainstorming sessions!
You can be in a supportive environment and still not feel supported if the people around and above you don’t have the resources to make change.
Two things can be true at the same time: 1. you can be in a supportive environment and 2. still not feel supported due to lack of resources from the folks in place to support you. Managers need so much more support than they get to support you the way you need to be successful.
Advocating for yourself in the workplace is worth it, but shouldn't feel like your whole job.
People at every level of a company are still people and you can find the most fulfilling friendships with the most seemingly surprising folks.
I can handle more than I think I can.
I can also trust my gut when it rings the alarm that what I’m doing doesn’t align with what I’m meant to do.
I was really worried that I would leave this job feeling like a failure. Like I hadn’t mastered what I came to do or what was expected of me. In an exit interview, one of my supervisors, who has become a real mentor as well, told me that she didn’t want me to hope that I had done enough while I was there. She wanted me to know that I had.
Closure is fake and grief begets more grief, but I am finding a lot of solace in knowing that I left this place better than I found it. That I was loud when it mattered. That being effective applies to things like kindness and seeing my team members as real people who care about my city - the city I’ve lived in for 32 years. That’s what makes me most proud and I’m so grateful to be ending my time on that note as I dive into what’s next!
(So what’s next, you may be asking? Here’s a couple’a hints: 👰💍💖💻🪢)
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Let my course help you figure out what you’re excited to wear this fall so you can leave what’s not working behind!
Use code LABORSLAY for 15% off Feel Good, Dress Better 101: Discovering Your Personal Style. (Applies to all pricing plans!)
Thanks for hanging out for some JELLY TOAST and I’ll see you next time!
Follow me on IG @nic.taliaferro for more or to let me know what you thought of this issue!
With love from Austin,
Nic ✿